Position: Stay at Home Mom

When we found out I was expecting, amongst a lot of uncertainty, one think I knew was for sure. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. With our oldest, I was not able to have the luxury of staying home and being the homemaker. So with this little guy, I knew thats what I wanted. I couldn't imagine having to leave him with anyone while I worked. I worked with moms who after 3 months, had to return to work and honestly, hats off to them because personally, I could not do it. I don't think that I was mentally prepared for everything that this new position entailed. Yes, I knew I would be able to be home all day in my pajamas and no one would bat an eye at that, (After all- i'm a SAHM)however; it is the single handed most demanding job i've ever had in my LIFE. I don't get to clock in and clock out, no lunch breaks, no sick days, no overtime. I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even in my sleep in working! Here we are, 16 months into this new job and I swear, I still haven't gotten it down packed. It's freaking hard. Balancing being a mom, a wife and still maintaining my own identity and sanity has been a challenge I have yet to perfect. I often feel like a circus act trying to balance 5 things in my hand while walking on a big ball and hopping on one leg. Think that's hard, now multiply it by two. That's how I feel most days. There are so many mamas who don't have the opportunity that I have. They have no choice but to return to work and leave their little ones in the care and responsibility of others. I am beyond grateful for the blessing it is to stay home. But… and there is a but… Being a one income house hold means lots and lots of sacrifices. At first, it was cool. No biggie. That means, we can't eat out often, can't go shopping as much, certain things just can't be done. Lately- I've really felt some pressure about not working. The pressure is really just pressure I apply on myself. I hate not being able to go buy June a toy whenever I want to, or having to wait till the next pay period to be able to take the kids bowling. It's tough when you know that if you were working, things would be different. With all that said, I just sat and did a job search and the thought of my son crying while I left him with someone else, made my stomach turn. Obviously- i'm not ready for that big step yet, and that's ok. As a family, we are making temporary sacrifices for what is in the best interest of our little boy. I will continue to look for leads on possible work at home jobs and just go from there. :) Xo

How do they do it?

Ever since I had June, I find myself following more and more moms on Instagram. Most do crafts, and activities daily, if not weekly. Based on their Instagram, you'd think they were magicians who found the secret to getting more than 24 hours out of a day. Here I am, lucky if I manage to cook dinner or even brush my teeth at that. (Yes- There have been some afternoons when I realize, OH SHIT! I forgot to brush my teeth.) So I always ask myself, HOW DO THEY DO IT? I'm guilty of sometimes beating myself up about not doing enough around the house, or not doing enough with June. Not taking him to the park enough, not doing enough crafts, etc. I always tell myself next week, I'll start making more time, I'll maximize my time during the day and focus only on certain things on certain days. Well- IT NEVER HAPPENS! Mondays come and go, and same shit. 3:00 PM and I haven't even brushed my teeth. I will say this, I never miss a cup of coffee. Goes to show where my priorities lie. #coffeeislife I'm learning that on social media, we only show what we want people to see. We obviously don't post about the lazy days, or the days when you don't brush your teeth. You simply post the Instagram and Facebook worthy photos. Which usually consist of crafts, a good hair day, when your make up and eyebrows are on Fleek. (Fleek: On point, in case you were wondering), or the pretty parts of our home. Anyway- In all seriousness, I really have to just do better at time management. You'd think that with all the pins I have on my "organize my life" folder on pintrest, I'd have some kind of routine going on by now. But nope, I don't. Being a stay at home mom is tough. It really is. Not that I thought it would be a walk in the park, but the days go by so much faster when you're home. I feel like everyday I spend a major part of my day doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning. This week, I will make a conscious effort to make the most of my days. Side note: it has taken me over 3 days to write this post. I just sat down to finally finish it, and June, who was supposed to nap for at least an hour, work up 15 minutes into his nap. So all the other things I wanted to add to this post will just have to wait. Otherwise, this will never make it to the blog. Hope everyone has a great day. Xo

Welcome.

Allow me to introduce myself and my family. My name is Jeanette and I am a mother to 4 beautiful children. Rodney who is 11, Julie who's is 9, Jaslyn who is 8  and a the newest addition June and he is 8 months. Milton and I have been together for 5 years and engaged for 3. Obviously- we aren't in a big rush to get married. It'll happen when the time is right. Since before June was born, I've been talking about this blog I wanted to document our lives and his milestones. 8 months later I haven't even written an introduction. Lol we have all these beautiful ideas during pregnancy. "I'm going to take a picture every week and post it so that I can track my belly." "Im going to take the most beautiful maternity pictures." "I want to take beautiful newborn photos." Shall I continue? Well- I did none.. I wanted to keep a journal my entire pregnancy.. I wrote in it once. Yes- I would've loved to have these things to look back on years from now, but the fact that I didn't do them doesn't make me any less of a mother or less of a person. 

So anywho- hi! Welcome to my blog. This blog will be a reflection of my life, my family and my journey to find myself yet again. Motherhood has taken me on this roller coaster that veered me far off of what and who I once was. So I invite you to join me on this long, emotional journey. ☺️